Archive for the ‘BDSM’ Category

Fabulous Oh Toys

Posted: April 23, 2015 in D/s

When searching for sexual toys online, its hard to know where to start. Quality of the toys, good prices, privacy and customer service always motivate me to buy, and keep me coming back. I have become friends with the founder of Fabulous O, now I am a c0-owner. I only vouch for something if i believe in it. The customer service is great, and really tries to make the customer happy.  Everyone at Fab O works really hard to get you the best of everything. Here are some of the items on the website, if there is something you want but don’t see, just mssg Fab O and they will do what they can to make it happen.

Contact pages for Fabulous O: Fabulous Oh & WCDT

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What’s new with WCDT?

Posted: April 21, 2015 in D/s

WCDT has joined KIK (an app for phones and tablets) for one on one advice, discussion or just general support with myself or we have a group chat. To find me search June_WCDT or the chat search #WCDT.

I have started an online paper with paper.li called The WCDT Weekly, i wanted to go over a few things with you.  As far as i can tell (and im new at this), it headlines only a few items each time i publish, you need to go into the “archives” by picking a date, there it will show everything i have posted…including videos. I am always up for promoting others work, so if you have a blog and would like me to share an article, email me at WCDT. *please include a link to your article.

Thanks everyone for the continued support on all WCDT sites.

~June

 

Is there love in BDSM?

Posted: April 13, 2015 in D/s

There are so many different dynamics within BDSM that there is no set in stone rules when it comes to actual love needing to be a part of it one way or another. Many have the desire to find a love match whereas many only seeking a play partner and nothing more. BDSM and the relationship you seek is something only you can choose to custom fit based on your needs both physically and emotionally. Many have committed D/s relationships where “love” is not necessary but is just as deep and committed as one with love.

For me personally there does not have to be “love” I DO however have to “care” for my Dom because I could never surrender myself completely to another unless I cared for Him on a deeper level. I have had play partners but to me, that was not fulfilling enough as I desire a deeper commitment and a D/s relationship not just a session here or there if you will. With the Dominants I have had I have always been very straight forward in my expectations/limitations regarding my emotional needs so we would both know exactly what the other was looking for and if love was necessity for them then upfront I knew we were not compatible and saved ourselves unnecessary vesting of time and feelings. It is crucial to do your best by not only yourself but also your potential partner so neither creates false expectations.

If you want it all and love is something you need within your dynamic be open and honest about it and what you are looking to achieve with them. If you do not want love to play a part then say that without hesitation. No one can predict WHAT will grow in time or won’t. So if love “happens” then so be it but at least you’ll be able to truly start a relationship with someone honestly with all cards on the table and knowing well where you each stand. Communication, as always, is what it all boils down to. Don’t be afraid to throw the “L” word out there, just make sure your partner is seeking or open to the same emotional expectations too. ~Harlow

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BDSM Books

Posted: April 12, 2015 in D/s

Here are some books that i recommend for anyone in the lifestyle that want to gain a better understanding of BDSM. I have included the title, author and a link from Amazon for you to purchase it from.

Domination & Submission: Relationship Handbook by Mike Makai

http://www.amazon.com/Domination-Submission-BDSM-Relationship-Handbook-ebook/dp/B00FCN875A

Mike Makai has also wrote: 62Q: Sixty-two Questions For Your Dominant, The Warrior Princess Submissive, and Michael Makai’s Little Book of BDSM Quotes, and The BDSM Coloring Book: An Activity Book for Kinksters With Crayons.

A Submissive’s Heart by Kaye Hatcher

http://www.amazon.com/Submissives-Heart-Kayngel-Hatcher-ebook/dp/B00EGXXMUW/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=1-1-catcorr&qid=1417183182

More Than Two by Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert

http://www.amazon.com/More-Than-Two-practical-polyamory-ebook/dp/B00MSF4SLC/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1428892786&sr=1-1&keywords=more+than+two

Everything BDSM by Abbey Pointer & John Pointer

http://www.amazon.com/Everything-BDSM-Abbey-Pointer-ebook/dp/B00BXQVC1Q/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1428893136&sr=1-1&keywords=everything+bdsm

BDSM: The Naked Truth by Charley Ferrer

http://www.amazon.com/BDSM-Naked-Truth-Charley-Ferrer-ebook/dp/B00AGZAX9W/ref=sr_1_6?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1428893581&sr=1-6&keywords=Charley+ferrer

SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman

http://www.amazon.com/101-Realistic-Introduction-Jay-Wiseman/dp/0963976389/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1428893838&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=SM+101

 

 

PUNISHMENTS

Posted: April 6, 2015 in D/s

Punishments:   It is important to ensure that punishments not only warrant the infraction but also are handled ASAP. Letting punishments go and addressing them even a week after is not good for a healthy D/s relationship. The submissive should not have to remind their Dominant of a punishment being owed. This kind of defeats the purpose for us as we are wanting our D type to lead, coach and guide us, NOT the other way around. If a submissive has to wait for a punishment it will create a sense of not being “cared” for and will lead to the submissive possibly acting out in order to see if their Dominant is going to pay attention to them and DO something about it. If a sub has to act out to see if you’re going to hold them accountable and you do not show them you WILL do as you say you will then you need to reevaluate yourself as this is something you are failing in, not your sub. The Dominant needs to really be mindful of clearly addressing the infraction and dole out the proper punishment as soon as possible. Ensuring that the least possible amount of time goes by so it is still fresh not only in your mind but also in your subs mind too. This will also prevent you from having more than one punishment to deal with as it is not beneficial to let punishments stack up and will only create confusion as well as it will not allow your sub to properly reflect on each infraction. Once the punishment has been dealt with all is to be forgiven and forgotten and should never keep bringing it up or holding it against your submissive. Clean the slate and move forward. Make sure you don’t forget Aftercare as this isalso essential for us :) ~Harlow

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The Collar

Posted: March 3, 2014 in D/s

The Collar by June

 

A collar is NOT a joke!

It is NOT some pretty necklace your boyfriend bought you!

It NOT something you should be taking after submitting last week!

It is a bond, between Master/slave, Dom/sub, Daddy/lg (and other dynamics) that is SUPPOSE to last a lifetime, it is and should be treated as a sacred bond, a marriage between two people that live a different type of lifestyle.

I really get sick of some people that are collared within days of even knowing their Dom..its like going to Vegas and marrying the drunk guy in the casino. Have some respect for yourself and this lifestyle, think things through before submitting and taking His collar. There is no need to rush things, IF it is meant to be it will.

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WCDT 101: Back to basics with safe words by June.

A safe word is a code word to let your Dominant (or play partner) know that you are ready to pause or stop. Some use the stop light system (3 safe words) you can use “green, yellow, red” or pick your own words. The meaning behind those words are GREEN: yes I’m ok, loving it, please keep going. YELLOW: slow down some, i need to adjust a little or I’m ok but getting close to the stopping point. RED: STOP NOW, and now means NOW, not a few minutes from now. Red can be because you are hurting beyond your pain threshold, or something that was said, an action or even a smell has triggered a flashback of some kind.

Who should have a safe word? EVERYONE.

I know the people that use RACK would argue against that, because they are “risk aware” but can you really be prepared for everything? There can be things that happen that have nothing to do with the scene like a stomach ache, or a migraine that comes on, your leg goes numb because of an injury you had years ago. Even if you never use it, have one, just in case.

Does having a safe word mean you do not trust the Dom/Top? Not at all, they are not in your head, they can only tell so much by your moans and movements, so to avoid possible physical or mental damage use the safe word. It will be easier to get back in the mood or try a different type scene after a safe word, than if you let it get to the point of mental or physical damage with no safe word.

When should you pick a safe word? NOW! Do not wait until you have a Dom/me or you are on the way to a play session. The safe word is yours, yours to pick and yours to use. Discuss this with your potential Dom/me or Top. Make sure they know what your safe word is BEFORE you start the scene!! Always use common your sense and play safe.

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